Chez embeedub

As one who takes a lot of crap from both my enlightened liberal friends who think that being a Christian is somewhat on par with being a member of the Tea Party, but with more superstitious bunkum, and also from Christians who like to email to tell me I’m a baby murdering Satan, I’m thinking today of what the pope’s resignation means and why I even still bother calling myself Catholic. 

I devote a lot of my job to calling out the Catholic church on the subjects of sexual abuse, sexism, and homophobia, and I’m not going to stop pointing out hypocrisy and prejudice within the institution. I disagree vehemently with the Church on several significant and complicated issues, like reproductive choice. 

But Christianity — and Catholicism in particular — is still my moral compass. I grew up in a post Vatican II church that taught me that Jesus was a big hippie who liked poor people and outsiders, whose main message boiled down to, don’t be a dick. You can get that philosophy without being Catholic, but that’s where I got it, and that’s what I continue to fight for.

Yesterday when I was at mass with my daughters — in my nice liberal let’s-help-hurricane-victims-and-WTF-gun-violence parish run by Capuchin friars — I snapped to attention when I heard the service’s intention was to speak for those who have the least voice. I have lots of doubts and lots of questions and lots of things that piss me off — and I try to pass along that skepticism and that passion to my children. But getting out in the world and being an advocate for the powerless and disenfranchised — that’s what I believe we’re supposed to do. We’re here to go forth together, as brothers and sisters. We’re here to love each other and forgive each other. That’s what I was taught. And I was taught it by my Church. 

Tomorrow marks the last day before the start of lent. Let the good times roll.

We did it. We finished the SNAP Challenge. Seven days, 21 meals, $110.58, and three ladies. We cooked a lot, we baked, we got 27-cent fudge. And starting tomorrow, we can eat whatever we want again. 

Our life really won’t look much different from the way we ate this week. We’re a family that believes in cooking and eating together, in using fruits and vegetables and grains and leaving room for dessert. But this challenge has absolutely given us a renewed gratitude for all that we have. Even on our usual limited means, a budget which requires a lot of thought and preparation and stretching and occasional hyperventilation at the checkout line, we can still buy the foods we like to eat and not worry about being two cents short for an avocado. 

This week brought us closer. It’s shown me in a new way how determined and resolved my children can be. I just found out this morning that Bea had been the class snack monitor all week, and had handed out pretzels and crackers to her classmates but never taken one for herself. And I’ve got a new window into Lucy’s insights.

I’m glad we did it, and I’m glad it’s done. I’m looking forward to going out for coffee with my fella tomorrow and having coffee. I’ve got two social events this week and I’m looking forward to eating at them and having a glass of wine. But mostly, I’m going to keep shopping and cooking and baking in much the same way.

My wish for every American, of every income, is warm, healthy food on the table. The satisfaction of nourishment. The pleasure of company at many meals and the joy of solitude at others. A culture-wide understanding that true nourishment is what we all deserve, and all of us working together to make it happen.

Saturdays I like to make scones.

The scones that you get at Starbucks and the like are a shameful mockery of what a scone should be. Scones should be warm and hearty moist and in no way resemble a hunk of granite. TAKE BACK THE SCONE, AMERICA.

Today I started with the peanut butter scone recipe from the Baked Explorations cookbook  that was then riffed on by Design Sponge. I used the last of the strawberry jam I’d made the other night  and the last 1/2 cup of the flour, along with a 1/2 cup of the oat flour I made last night.  The result was a little messy going in, but incredibly tender and beautiful when it came out. And when we ate it, it was like:

I had some horchata left, and I thought it’d be nice heated up and infused with tea. And oh, it was. It was like rice pudding crossed with a cuppa – this Irish girl’s interpretation of a Mexican treat.

For lunch the girls wanted more pasta with tomato sauce, so I made that for them. I had the last of the lentils warmed up atop the last of the salad with spiced roasted chickpeas. It was my first attempt so some got a little burned, but they were quite promising. I do believe we’ve found this year’s kale chips. 

This afternoon I finally got to see Argo, which was great, but more significantly; I had to see it without my usual snuck in candy. (Why buy overpriced Whoppers when you can smuggle in a Lindt bar? I ask you.) So instead I watched Ben Affleck get six Americans out of Iran while nibbling sunflower seeds. As long as I’m still somehow convinced I’m sticking it to The Man, I’m happy.

For dinner we had the rest of the cornbread, and the girls made the squash soup.

Squash Soup

You can make this with your own roasted winter squash, or canned pumpkin. Any way it’s done it’s lovely.

One box of frozen winter squash, thawed

3 cups of chicken broth

Two green onions (usually we use leeks)

Potatoes

Cooked sausage (we usually use bacon, but tonight we used the sausage from lentil night) 

Pinch of brown sugar

Cinnamon and cumin to taste

Heat the broth to boiling. Add diced potatoes and cook to soften, about fifteen minutes. When the potatoes are tender, add the squash, sausage, green onions, brown sugar, and spices. Stir together until heated through.

Dessert was more of the banana bread. I’d been concerned about what disaster would ensue from baking with oat flour when I was running low on white flour, but after the scones and this, I am a believer. It had a sweet nuttiness we all loved.

At dinner, we toasted our completed week and the 46 cents we had left to spare. And after the meal, we hugged each other and high fived. Then Lucy said, “This was great. Let’s do it again next year.”

Made it

The finish line of our family SNAP challenge is in sight. The food is running out. One more day to go.

Yesterday, I was two cents short of being able to buy an avocado, so I didn’t buy an avocado. But today turned out pretty okay, because I found another way to spend that money.

But first, a few other things to get through. For breakfast, Bea ate the last apple, Lucy had yogurt, and I had granola and yogurt. Sent Bea to school with two hard boiled eggs and the last slice of white bread, prompting an enthusiastic “I LOVE YOU MOMMY” when she saw the contents of her lunch bag. Lucy got a peanut butter sandwich and a Clementine. For lunch, I had the leftover frittata. I don’t understand why people act like leftovers are a bummer. To me, eating something special you made for dinner a day or two later, when the flavors have really settled in, is a treat. And I think upcycling something you’ve made once into a different kind of meal a second time is just sane. As much as I love to cook, I extra love not cooking any more than I have to. I love not being enslaved by cooking, and making something once instead of reinventing the earth anew each day makes that possible.

Oh yeah, and I also wrote about our SNAP challenge for Salon. 

This morning I learned via Gothamist that in celebration of Grand Central Station’s 100^th anniversary today, various shops and eateries were rolling back to 1913 prices. Zaro’s would have rye bread for a nickel. Ciao Bella would have gelatos for a dime. And most tantalizing of all, Financier would have ten-cent coffee. Oh, my sweet dark mistress, how grand indeed it would be to be back together. I picked up Bea from school and met up with Lucy, coming home from her school, at 42^nd St. We shoved our way through the roving bands of Elmos and made our way to the terminal.

Now, I live in New York City on a tight budget. I drag my kids to every free and nearly free thing the city has to offer. I know these things are a clusterfuck. And I knew that Grand Central Station on a late Friday afternoon, when there was nearly free food to be had, would pretty much be the epicenter of all the clusterfuck in the world. And it was.

I didn’t, however, imagine that I would well up with tears when the Ciao Bella guy said they’d just stopped the promotion when we got there. “You can buy it for regular price,” he said, as my lower lip began to tremble. All around us There were commuters scooping their way through little cups of delicious frozen nectar, but there would be none for the girls and me. More disappointingly, after asking a pair of tourists clutching steamy hot coffee for the location of Financier, we got there to find a sign saying there too were no longer offering the promotion. My whole plan to game the system was falling apart. AND I’d wasted a subway ride to wind up in Grand Central Station at rush hour on a Friday. And Zaro’s was out of rye bread as well, of course, blowing my hopes of a grilled cheese sandwich tomorrow.

But… Li-Lac was still dispensing peanut butter fudge — full-sized pieces too! — for 27 cents each. (They’re usually $2.75, and they’re heavenly.) And… the deli across from LiLac was handing out samples of prosciutto! So we had a little bit of some salty, fatty meat and then we took our fudge and ate under the stars. It wasn’t peaceful, but it was very, very New York. For 71 cents.

46 cents left

Dinner was grilled polenta sticks and corn with tomato sauce, and salad with beets and almonds.

This morning I made a banana bread with the last of our on the way out bananas and the last of the chocolate chips. I was thrilled to find the Smitten Kitchen recipe, because it uses only brown sugar and I’ve been only using the brown I bought this week. Because I’m almost out of flour, I subbed half the flour for oat flour I made just by grinding up the whole oats. FYI you can’t just swap non gluten flours for wheat ones pell mell and willy nilly – they behave very differently— but you can get away with a little tomfoolery whether it’s because you’re in a pinch or you just want to experiment with different flavors. I used one cup of flour and half a cup of oat. 

I didn’t need another sweet after the fudge, but the girls were enthusiastic in their reviews. Will report back when I dig in tomorrow – the last day of the challenge.

It was not the greatest day of the SNAP week. In running terms, this is what is known as hitting the wall. In the morning, both girls sleepily, reflexively asked if they could have cereal – maybe some Cheerios? – and looked bummed when I reminded them that our cereal is not part of ourfood allowance. Lucy had yogurt, Bea had a banana, and I had hot cereal with raisins, dates, prunes, and almonds. I think I was the only satisfied customer.

Well, I was happy

I’d had big plans for my last $1.27 too. An avocado. I would get to prove at last when I’ve known all my life – that I would literally spend my last dollar on an avocado. But when I got to the supermarket, I learned avocados are $1.29 each this week. Two cents short, and my dream of a future grilled cheese and avocado evaporated.

I know I’m lucky – on Sunday, I can go back to buying all the avocados I want. I’m better off, even on this SNAP budget, than the 46.2 million Americans living in poverty. But on a day when a lot of other stuff was wearing me out, it was frustrating.

Lunch for the girls was hard-boiled eggs and Rachael Ray’s carrot salad. I made a spicy lentil soup with the leftover lentils and the tomato sauce and plenty of Tabasco. Served it with a salad of romaine and roasted beets in a simple oil and vinegar dressing.

Because of some scheduling changes, we wound up making early dinner, which also threw me off my game. How off my game? Well, I’d been hard boiling some eggs for tomorrow and flat out forgot about them for a half hour. Now they’re EXTRAHARD boiled eggs. For dinner itself I made a skillet corn bread and added corn kernels. Improvised the buttermilk with milk and vinegar. I was rushed, and didn’t mix the bread thoroughly. But topped with some grated cheese, it was still good – especially slathered in homemade butter. Lucy, meanwhile, made the white chili. We made this a lot – it comes together in about five minutes and it’s just the thing after a long exhausted day. It’s one of the first things I learned to cook and it still holds up.

Lucy heated up the leftover chicken from Sunday night, chicken broth, cooked white beans, and chopped green onions. Added some cumin and hint of cinnamon and we were good to go. I usually add cilantro because I am TEAM CILANTRO SUCK IT PARSLEY, but no cilantro this week.

After dinner, we had friends came over for dessert. I wanted, as part of this challenge, to show that even on a little more than five bucks a day, you can still see your friends. You should still see your friends. You should entertain and have company and have your kids play together and eat together, no matter how much or little you have. We’re wired for connection. The real world kind, the kind that doesn’t happen in a status update.

For Kristin and her two daughters, I made the Marcus Samuelson horchata with brown rice and almonds. Subbed honey for the white sugar. My first time out with horchata, and aside from the pain in the ass of straining it, it was pretty easy and very, very good.

Served it with churros. Even though I’m desperately rationing the last of my groceries, I went with my usual tack of a superrich dough. Make churros with water? I wouldn’t dream of it.

Shook the churros in paper bags with cinnamon and sugar, and served them with a quick chocolate sauce made from some butter and chocolate chips melted together, with just a little sprinkle of salt.

We toasted with our horchata and every bite of the churros and morsel of the chocolate sauce was gone in about thirty seconds. And even though it was a long, tough, tiring day, it ended with friends and fried dough. Not too bad.

Tomorrow will be better.